If you have experienced a significant bereavement, you likely remember the complex tangle of emotions, that sometimes felt impossible to manage. You’ll recall how it felt to struggle with communicating how you felt and what you needed to those around you, and the challenges of adapting to the changes in your world, a world that suddenly felt unpredictable and overwhelming. But what if that was your baseline to begin with? What if everyday life presented those challenges, even before the shock of a bereavement?

This is the reality for at least 20% of the UK’s population, who have some kind of neurodivergence such as autism or ADHD. Although neurodivergence is a multifaceted spectrum, and everyone’s experience of it will be unique, there are some common factors, such as difficulties with emotional regulation, challenges with adaptation to change, and issues that can affect communication and social interaction. When someone neurodivergent experiences a bereavement, their experience may be very different to the neurotypical one and it can be difficult for those around them to understand how much of their reactions or behaviour are due to grief, and how much are due to the challenges they are already dealing with. This can result in that person getting less support and understanding, at a time when they need it the most.

In this session we’ll get insight into the neurodivergent experience of loss and grief, and look at the challenges it brings. We’ll look at what is useful in our current understanding of the grieving process, but we’ll also consider where these models and theories fall short when seen through a neurodivergent lens. Finally, we’ll look at how best to support a neurodivergent individual after a bereavement, and how to tailor our approach to each person’s needs.

Learning Outcomes

By the end of this training, you will:

• have developed an awareness of the neurodivergent perspective on bereavement, and the ways in their experience of grief can differ from a neurotypical response
• have more insight into the unique challenges that someone neurodivergent faces when confronted with bereavement (whether that is sudden or expected), and how our current understanding of the grieving process needs to be seen adaptively in order to help not harm
• have awareness of the type of support that a neurodivergent person needs around a bereavement, what approaches may work effectively, and where to look for more specialised support if needed

Trudie Bamford is a grief writer and trainer, creating & delivering content on grief, trauma and loss for Cruse and other organisations. Her specialty is traumatic grief, such as after suicide or drug overdose, where she utilises her own lived experience of these kinds of bereavements. She is a Cruse volunteer, providing bereaved people one to one support, and is currently training as a psychotherapist.