Build A Better Future Book Club #20: Love in Exile by Shon Faye

Build A Better Future Book Club from Girl Gang Manchester: Stimulus, discussion, co-learning, and action to create a more equitable world for all.
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Is heartbreak all capitalism’s fault? Join us to explore the personal and political in Shon Faye's generous, wise, funny, unsparing and generous memoir, the critically acclaimed:

LOVE IN EXILE by Shon Faye

"Shon Faye grew up quietly obsessed with the feeling that love was not for her. Not just romantic love: the secret fear of her own unworthiness penetrated every aspect and corner of her life. It was a fear that would erupt in destructive, counterfeit versions of the real love she craved: addictions and short-lived romances that were either euphoric and fantastical, or excruciatingly painful and unhinged, often both. Faye's experience of the world as a trans woman, who grew up visibly queer, exacerbated her fears. But, as she confronted her damaging ideas about love and lovelessness, she came to realize that this sense of exclusion is symptomatic of a much larger problem in our culture.

Love, she argues, is as much a collective question as a personal one. Yet our collective ideals of love have developed in a society which is itself profoundly sick and loveless; in which consumer capitalism sells us ever new, engrossing fantasies of becoming more loved or lovable. In this highly politicized terrain, boundaries are purposefully drawn to keep some in and to keep others out. Those who exist outside them are ignored, denigrated, exiled.

In Love in Exile, Shon Faye shows love is much greater than the narrow ideals we have been taught to crave so desperately that we are willing to bend and break ourselves to fit them. Wise, funny, unsparing, and suffused with a radical clarity, this is a book of and for our times: for seeing and knowing love, in whatever form it takes, is the meaning of life itself."

Shon Faye is author of the acclaimed bestseller The Transgender Issue. Her work has been published in, among others, the Guardian, Independent, British Vogue and VICE. She writes an advice column, Dear Shon, for Vogue.com. Born in Bristol, she now lives in London.

"Uncommonly wise and honest. Love in Exile flooded me with a sense of continuinty and hope. A masterpiece." Maggie Nelson

Facilitator: Megan Marie Griffith

Please note we are at a brand new venue this month! The lovely Leven Hotel in the gay village.

If you would like to facilitate a future book club or have an idea for a book that you think we should feature please drop us a message at girlgangmanchester@gmail.com. 

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We hope this group will provide a space and build a community for education, discussion and reflection. Every other month we will focus on a brilliant book exploring marginalised experiences.

Where possible we will invite facilitators with lived experience of the topic to provide stimulus and co-moderate discussions with our team- we choose to share the role of facilitation to share both the power and responsibility within the space.

The club meet on the final Thursday of every other month and sessions will now be 2 hours long to create space for lengthier discussions and action point check ins and outs at the start and end of each session.

We are trialling an in-person/online hybrid event delivery to maintain some of the increased accessibility lockdown instigated, but we would also like to build community and action around this group - so encourage people to come down in person if they can! 

We intend to maintain a long term, consistent space for people to take personal responsibility and communal accountability for their allyship and coalition learning, creating a space for reflection, discussion and to hear from other voices. The group is always open to new members, or returning ones, so we’d love for you to join us!

HOW THE GROUP WORKS:

• We’ll be meeting in person and online. Both digital and IRL spaces will be open 10 minutes in advance to arrive for a prompt kick off.
• Links to online meeting will be sent in advance of the session.
• Our sessions will involve specific prompts and small group discussions (as well as online in virtual break-out rooms)
• Digital attendees will be in groups together and in person attendees will be in groups together
• The space will be facilitated. Though some of our facilitators may have lived experience, this is a space for communal learning and structured discussion rather than a teaching space- the ‘teacher” will always be the author of the material.
• In order to pay our facilitators for their preparation and leading time, we are making paid for tickets compulsory at check out to help us cover the cost of their fees. We feel this is important, particularly when we are asking people with lived experience to contribute. If you are currently unwaged or the £3.50 is a barrier to your attendance, please book the free ticket, but we encourage payment where possible.
• There is also an optional donation to a relevant charity which changes each month and is selected by our facilitators, should you wish to donate.
• Please book your place in advance for each session.

WHO IS THE BOOK CLUB FOR:

The sessions are open to people of all genders/races/sexualities/classes/disability inclusive - if you have any specific accessibility needs in regard to the sessions, please let us know and we’ll do our very best to accommodate. For parents, single Mums, and those with a legitimate reason to be late, don’t worry we will still let you in the room! For everyone else, please try to be on time if you can so we can all be a part of the full conversation where possible.

This is a space for everyone - though we would like attendees to be aware that participants may be at different stages of their personal educational journeys. We must be prepared to push one another and address our own shortfalls to get the most out of the sessions, valuing the voices with experience, if they wish to attend.

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Refund policy: Paying for a ticket funds freelance artists, creatives and facilitators and helps support Girl Gang Manchester in continuing to run events. All tickets are non refundable and non transferable.

Girl Gang Manchester’s events aim to be as inclusive as possible. This event is open to people of all genders, ages, races, sexualities, and classes. All are welcome, please see specific access information below.

Accessibility information:

• The room will be lit with normal lights. There will be a projection screen for zoom participants and potentially a power point presentation.
• We won’t be using strobe lighting for this event.
• All gender toilets are provided.
• Seating will be available throughout the event.
• We happily offer free tickets for personal access assistants, please email us at girlgangmanchester@gmail.com to arrange this. Registered assistance dogs are also welcome!
• Specific COVID guidance can be found below.
• A Girl Gang Manchester team member will greet you as you enter the event space and will be available as a point of contact throughout the event if you require anything.

If you have any other access requests or worries, please contact us at girlgangmanchester@gmail.com. We are super proud that our events and club nights are welcoming and that there are always people who feel comfortable to attend on their own.

COVID-19 Guidance:

Though we no longer have any specific COVID-19 guidelines in place at our events, it is our expectation that you as a member of our community exercise personal responsibility in that you do not attend if you knowingly have COVID or any other contagious disease, or if you have knowingly had contact with a positive case.

Why do we ask identity questions?

We want to make our events as inclusive as possible and we often get questions from people who for whatever reason say, ‘I really want to come but I am nervous, will I be the odd one out?’ Whilst we will always strive to do our best to make everyone feel welcome, it is useful to know a little more about who our audience is for each event so we can be honest in our responses to any queries. It also helps us tailor events for the people attending and identify who we aren’t currently reaching with our work.

This data really helps us, please answer any questions you feel comfortable with. If you do not want to share this information, please leave it blank. More information can be found on our Privacy Policy.