Tending the Ache: Grief at the Second Gate

“Seek not love, instead, seek and find all the barriers

within yourself that you have built against it.”

-Rumi

***

There are places within us that have never known love—parts of ourselves we learned to cleave off in order to be accepted, fragments wrapped in shame, buried in silence, or held in contempt. These exiled aspects of our being often show up as addictions, depression, anxiety, a lack of aliveness and vitality, and other persistent aches calling for our attention.

At Tending the Ache, we will journey into the Second Gate of Grief, turning toward the parts of ourselves that have long been cast out. Through expressive arts, ritual, and embodied practices, we will cultivate the medicine of compassion, gently welcoming back what has been lost. Drawing upon Internal Family Systems (IFS) and communal witnessing, we will soften the barriers to self-love, allowing warmth and acceptance to reach the places we have long kept in the shadows.

Join us in this sacred space as we listen, tend, and begin the slow work of reclaiming wholeness, held by the nurturing embrace of the foothills where the Piedmont Plateau meets the Blue Ridge Mountains. This scenic, rural setting, surrounded by farms and vineyards, offers a landscape that invites both spaciousness and grounding. The retreat center, Well of Mercy, is a place that feels like home—intimate, welcoming, and especially well-suited for the Second Gate’s deep and sometimes tender work with childhood wounds.

Nestled on 110 acres of beautiful land in Hamptonville, NC, our venue calls us back into relationship with the earth and with our own roots, offering the stability we need to restore what has been forgotten, silenced, or shamed. With space for just 20 participants, this retreat creates the conditions for meaningful personal transformation within a close-knit, supportive community, where compassion may flow freely, vulnerability is honored, and every voice may be heard.

Over the course of the weekend, we will explore:
• Personal and community ritual
• Breathwork and body-centered practices to deepen our trust in our emotional and body wisdom
• Therapeutic writing, inquiry, and small group work to assist in opening to our stories of loss
• The role of shame in grief and learning how to meet it with compassion
• Befriending our outcast and exiled parts, welcoming the fullness of our grief experience
• Practices to cultivate our capacity to be with our experience in a way that is spacious, curious, and heartfelt

As we practice the courage to be with the authenticity of our hearts, we enhance our capacity to embody a vibrant sense of aliveness and compassion. The beauty of this work is its capacity to expand into our communities and the world. This is a form of soul activism and what we are called to embody in this critical time.

We will begin at 4pm on Thursday, June 4 and conclude at 11am on Sunday, June 7. To cultivate trust and containment, participation for the entire weekend is essential.

***
“What we don’t transform, we transmit.”
– Richard Rohr

What's included
• Two highly trained trauma-informed facilitators, one space-holder and two assistants (leader/participant ratio of 1:4)
• 3 nights lodging
• Dinner on Thursday; continental breakfast, full service lunch and dinner on Friday and Saturday; continental breakfast on Sunday; plus tea and light snacks throughout the weekend.

Pricing
• $975: Single Room 
• $875: Shared Cottage (separate sleeping areas)
• $775: Shared Room
• $110–$140 additional for Wednesday arrival (depending on your accommodations)
Registration will close by May 15 at 5pm or when the retreat fills to capacity. Due to the remote location of this retreat, commuter options are not available.

An optional additional night on Wednesday is also available for those who would like a personal “pre-retreat” arrival, at an added cost. This is highly recommended as a way to settle into the land, orient to the space, and arrive more resourced and grounded for the retreat. It also offers an opportunity to schedule a massage or Healing Touch session through Well of Mercy, should you wish to receive additional support before our work begins.

Scholarships
If attending this retreat creates a significant financial hardship and you seek a scholarship or work-study exchange, please apply here. For scholarships, we prioritize applicants from historically marginalized communities, first responders, veterans, those in the helping professions, and students, and may cover 25-50% of tuition. Scholarship applications are due by April 15.

Cancellation Policy
When registering for our retreats and programs, we ask that you are crystal clear on your intentions and commitment and consider your reservation and payment as a wholehearted YES to being here. We understand that things can come up that interrupt plans and schedules, but we also know from experience that when we prioritize this sacred work, we will move heaven and earth to honor our grief’s calling. Spaces to work with grief in community and through ritual are rare in modern western culture. In our retreats, we seek to create a community of shared values and embodied respect for the preciousness of this work.

We do, however, understand that some things fall outside of our control, and to this end we offer the following:
A 50% refund if you need to cancel before April 1 (minus registration fees).
A 25% refund if you need to cancel before May 1 (minus registration fees).
Unfortunately, we are unable to offer refunds after May 1

About the location
This retreat takes place at Well of Mercy, a beautiful venue nestled on 110 acres in the Piedmont region of North Carolina. Located in Hamptonville and sponsored by the Sisters of Mercy, Well of Mercy offers quiet, homelike spaces for those seeking rest, renewal, and a pause from daily life through contemplation, connection with nature, and spiritual grounding. The grounds include a river, labyrinths, and nature trails that invite reflection and gentle wandering.

While the retreat is held at a venue with Christian roots—and participants may notice elements such as iconography and grace before meals—the retreat itself is not affiliated with any religion, nor are participants expected to hold any particular spiritual or religious beliefs.

The closest airports are Greensboro and Charlotte, each just over an hour away. We are happy to help connect participants who may be interested in carpooling from an airport or elsewhere in the region.

Lodging and accommodations
• Single Rooms – with a queen bed and private bath on the ground floor of Sunset or Sunrise house; shared kitchen and communal screened-in porch.
• Shared Cottage – separate sleeping areas (one bedroom with a queen bed; living room with a daybed); shared kitchen, bath, and back deck.
• Shared Rooms – with a full and twin size bed on the top floor of Sunset or Sunrise house; private bath, shared kitchen and communal screened-in porch. Note: must be able to climb stairs, as there is no elevator available.

Pairs or couples will register separately, but should note your roommate on the registration form. Note: we do not hold spaces for pairs or couples. If you do not register at the same time, a shared space may be taken by another participant.

Contact your facilitators
Samantha DiRosa
Summer Estes

More information about the retreat, including bios of your facilitators, can be found here. 

***
“Healing comes when we let ourselves be held
by the love we were once denied.”
– Unknown

Statement on diversity and inclusivity
As facilitators, our intention is to create an inclusive space that honors all cultures and ethnicities. However, as white-bodied, cisgender women, we recognize the privilege and systemic advantages inherent in our identities and recognize that the racial lenses and gendered systems that have shaped our experiences and perspectives differ significantly from those of BIPOC individuals. We are dedicated to actively listening, learning, and unlearning, and we are committed to ongoing growth as facilitators in this area. May our collective grief cry serve as a catalyst for change and liberation, as we work towards dismantling oppressive systems and creating a world where all beings can thrive.

On cultural appropriation and ritual work
In our work, we approach any rituals, songs, or practices from non-dominant cultures with deep respect and gratitude. They have been shared and gifted with blessings to aid in our collective healing. We are committed to acknowledging and honoring the sources of these practices, recognizing the responsibility that comes with engaging with them.