Introduction & Approach

We often find that leaders and managers have received little to no training in how to have a ‘difficult’ conversation and thus may end up avoiding the situation altogether until it becomes really serious.

This series of 3 webinars aims to demystify the process of preparing for, holding and, most importantly, following up on a difficult conversation. It’s based on a face-to-face workshop that I have been delivering since 2015, and draws on the work of the Harvard Negotiation Project (HNP) – amongst others.

Participants will be encouraged to find a learning buddy to work through the material with after the sessions. An electronic workbook covering the models and webinar content will be provided beforehand, via an online learning platform (GiraffePad).

Webinar 1: What makes a conversation “difficult”? (26 Nov 12:30)

This introduction to the subject will aim to reduce the anxiety out of conversations that most of us would rather avoid having.

We’ll look at what lies behind the difficulty by hearing from 2 or 3 pre-recorded interview/discussions with people who have had relevant experiences that were successful and un-successful.

As a supporting model, we’ll look very briefly at the Herzburg Two-factor theory and how that might inform our understanding of why a person might be unhappy at work – leading to their performance or behaviour becoming unsatisfactory.

The webinar will close out by having participants form small groups to discuss what they’ve heard, add their own views and report-back on how they might apply it.

Webinar 2: How to give feedback: The NICER feedback model (3 Dec)

Many ‘difficult’ conversations are triggered as a result of unhelpful behaviour or attitudes displayed over an extended period. I believe this can often be avoided by providing clearer and more actionable feedback quickly after the initial event.

The NICER feedback model was developed following frustration with the commonly-used ‘Feedback Sandwich’ which is usually ineffective for a number of reasons. This model has been adopted by Avon & Somerset Police as part of their leadership training, and has been found to be effective in many other organisations as well.

This webinar will start by exploring the subject of feedback, what works, as well as what doesn’t, and then explain the NICER model. The session will close out by having participants form learning triplets to use a provided scenario to practice the model in safety. 

Webinar 3: Managing a difficult conversation: the PEAR process (10 Dec)

When feedback has not had the required effect, or if a performance/behavioural situation escalates too rapidly, a difficult conversation may be necessary. This webinar will explore the emotional aspects of such conversations and how to manage that through good preparation, application and follow-up.

One of the things that makes a difficult conversation emotionally charged is a sense of being out of control and not knowing what will happen – for both participants. There’s a sense of the seriousness of the situation, and its potentially emotive nature which can be enough for us to avoid it. While the emotion can never be completely removed, it can be managed.

The Harvard Negotiation Project approach helpfully separates a difficult conversation into 3 conversations – the story of what happened, the feelings, and the identity. I have created a process that helps prepare for, carry out, and follow-up: the PEAR process, which includes the NICER model.

The webinar will refer back to the initial session on what makes a conversation difficult, and then explain and walk-through the steps in the PEAR process using a worked example, and breakout sessions for participants to apply it in a safe learning space.

A recent participant said:

“[Great] Participation and instant feedback from the presenter. I was worried (as this was my first webinar) about participation, but it felt no different than being in a lecture hall, in fact I probably was able to participate more via this method than in a lecture theatre where 'my voice' may not have been heard. “

Trainer: Jonathan Rees

Jonathan is renowned for building the resilience and performance of teams & their leaders, facilitating learning through interactive & engaging workshops tailored in-the-moment to best serve the objectives of participants.

Jonathan has run a business since 2010 delivering soft-skills workshops, strategic facilitation, keynote speaking and 1:1 coaching, building on experiences from corporate life that included 14 years at Hewlett Packard leading a virtual team spread across the globe.

He now specialises in working with critical and blue-light services, and has worked with a variety of organisations in the public and private sectors including: Avon & Somerset Police, Greater Manchester Police, Durham Police, The Metropolitan Police, (and 13 other police forces), The College of Policing, Intel, HFMA, EasyJet, EE, O2, Lloyds Banking Group, Standard Life and the University of Bristol where he’s a visiting fellow, facilitator and lecturer.

His first (serious) book: "The Resilience Toolkit: Powerful ways to thrive in blue-light services" was published in February 2019 and has sold over 1000 copies.